Cᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ Iɴᴅᴇx —

a theory by the Crow.
(and others!)


The Crow: At the time of writing, it has been 553 days since we last had any actual content on The Corvid Review. 687 since the last Oscine Awards, which was when I last had any personal input. 754 since I last wrote a review.

And how fitting it is that said last review was of the final episode of Star Trek: Picard, Season One. Usually, I would offer some sort of explanation regarding our collective absence, or mine — but I shan’t just now. Long story short, The Corvid Review has long been on hiatus, despite our “reboot” project, but we’ll get to all that some other time.

When I started writing this post, it was meant to be a general review of the Star Trek: Picard‘s final season, with a section devoted to a crazy conspiracy theory I had regarding the identity of a certain character. That post (yes, I’ve chosen to write another) has evolved into a more detailed review of the series, and of recent Star Trek as a whole, so I’ll leave it for some other time.

For now, sit back, and allow me a few moments to call the possible identity of…



The Azure-Winged Magpie: So, like I was saying, the baddies have to be the Pah-Wraiths, right? The Pah-Wraiths or Armus. That makes the most sense. Like, everything’s like RED and all ominous, and both the Pah-Wraiths and Armus’ wallpaper are all red and ominous. Hell, there’s even a whole nutjob idea I had (and there are dozens of us!) about Armus being the collective evil of the Great Link, an-

The Crow: Um. Number One…?

The Azure-Winged Magpie: Hey there, Cap’n! I was just explaining to everyone why the BIG BAD in Picard S03’s got to be the Pah-Wraiths and maybe even Armus! And then, I mean… we got to have Vadic back, an-

The Crow: They confirmed it was the Borg last week.

The Azure-Winged Magpie:

The Crow: As we were…: Last week, I was watching episode 9 (Võx), and — considering one of the many hats I wear is that of a writer — I found myself drawn to the fact that despite everything happening on screen, we never got to see the Borg Queen’s face. Add to that the fact that Alice Krige (the original Borg Queen from Star Trek: First Contact as well as the person who played her in the Star Trek: Voyager two-part finale Endgame) is credited as the “voice” (how appropriate) of the Borg Queen, and we’ve got a highly suspicious Crow with an itch for investigating.

The Azure-Winged Magpie: nononono. Not again! Tactical! It’s still the Pah-Wraiths! Right?
The Spotted Nutcracker: wtf is a Pah-Wraith…?

The Crow: Let me put the cards on the table. Here’s what I think is going on. They’re withholding the Borg Queen’s identity for a reason.

And that’s because we know who it is. And it won’t be Alice Krige.

I think the Borg Queen is going to be Admiral Janeway (Kate Mulgrew), and she’s been hiding out on Jupiter this whole time (this has effectively been confirmed since). That is why she’s been name-dropped so often this season.

But how, you ask? The answer to that is simple. It isn’t our Janeway I’m talking about. We’re talking about the alternate-future, Borg-genocide Janeway. Add to that the fact that Alice Krige’s versions of the Borg Queen likely never recovered from Data (Brent Spiner)’s “Resistance is Futile” from the end of First Contact, or Janeway’s virus in Endgame, and the minor mystery regarding the Borg Queen’s face, and Janeway is an ideal candidate.

The Azure-Winged Magpie: Janeway?! JANEWAY?! No! It’s not! Okayfine, if it’s the Borg, it’s got to be… EXCRETUS OF BORG! No! It can’t be the Borg! It’s… BADGEY! No! It’s… the Conspiracy worms! Heck, recast Shinzon! ANYONE but the Borg!
The Spotted Nutcracker: Okay, Commander. let’s go see the nice Counsellor-man now…

The Crow: And this ^ is why we can’t do that bit in the review post. Glad that’s out of the way.

And there’s the theory!
I expect to see a lot more nostalgia-bait tomorrow. Definitely a Tuvok. Maybe a Q. Maybe a VPN/LAN-Queen Seven. Maybe an apologetic Wesley. Maybe a returned Shaw. And bonus points if the key to defeating the Borg is stuffing prime-timeline Janeway (who’s definitely old and insane enough to rival future-Janeway by this point) into a torpedo launcher — before she’s had her morning coffee (or tea, if she’s already switched) — and firing her at the Borg to make them all collectively poop their pants. But let’s face it. The series is called Star Trek: Picard.

Thanks for coming to this impromptu, 25th century TED-talk. Of course, there is another post that is mostly-complete, but we’ll let the finale air before getting around to finishing it. All I can say is: we’ll try and be quick about it. I promise nothing.
Until we meet again…

— Crow out.

The Azure-Winged Magpie: No! It’s GUL DUKAAAAAAT!

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